So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
