I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
