are you still at the devil's house?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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