Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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