ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
