brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I touched a dick in church today
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
