i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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