Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
