We won't sleep together?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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