you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
