Don't you send me to vm
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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