This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
