CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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