are you still at the devil's house?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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