:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
