I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
