Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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