I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We talked him into tasing himself.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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