Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
