Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
