I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
