he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
