Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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