You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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