Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
