**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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