Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There are leaves in my underwear?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize