Kiss
Puke
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Every concussion has its silver lining
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
