I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
