let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
