Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
