are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
false alarm. still invincible.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize