Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
