my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
