I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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