We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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