youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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