where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
