so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize