I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
