im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
