Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
