Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
