Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
