your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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