Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
