normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
