We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
