is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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