Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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