Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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