If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize