I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
