if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
