We're facebook friends in real life
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Boobs speak an international language.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize