I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
