is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
