? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize