He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
