I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
